kill the seed

"an ode to passover"

nah, just kidding.


[ prologue ]

today was the first day of the year where i ran out the front door without even considering to consider whether or not to put on a jacket. that is always a good day. i also got to crack my first springtime opaque ice in the gutter on my way to my car. technically it's not spring yet...but it's close.

the other night, ashley and i had a blockbuster epiphany (i mean..it was in blockbuster) :
most 'holidays'...involve blood.
we had a very impressive presentation wherein we highlighted this fact numerous times.
"Easter? Blood. Halloween? Blood. Valentine's Day? Hearts--blood. Christmas? Bloodline. (and placenta)." (there was a previous discussion involving dogs giving birth..i'll spare you the details.) it went on and on. i was pretty impressed with us. i'm not sure vange and dayn were.

last night emily and i had a pretty good discussion about the Holy Spirit and about it being a foundation rather than a feature of a person. we talked about "self" and dying to yourself and how you really can't allow the Spirit to function properly if you're treating it like a consultant instead of an operator.

it's almost time to seed. my dad is a farmer. and i've been to bible college. so obviously, the concept of a seed needing to die to do anything productive is instilled in me. i guess it's kind of one of those cliche things that most christians are familiar with but probably don't take to heart as much as they should.

[ chapter 1 - death: i'm not goth--hear me out ]

so back to blood.

this time of year is covered in death.
depressing dead trees pressed against gloomy grey skies..brown grass matted with mud..farmers getting ready for the mutilation of the land and the mass genocide of their seeds..everything leading to Easter and the crucifixion..

what a perfectly good time to kill yourself.
well i mean, not literally. metaphorically.

[ chapter 2 - resurrection: not a horror movie, a love story ]

do you like putting an album on random mode? i do. it kind of gives you this feeling of someone else being in charge of what you are going to hear even though you chose the album you wanted to hear it from...almost like they could tailor it from wherever they invisibly are into a special message just for you.

do you like letting go of your life?